The Line
by Jin
Summary: He'd give up his own soul for that person to be able to experience a life beyond the things you live for. (Daisuke x Ken)


The Line

by Jin (aiko@cephiro.com)

A/N: Um. Daiken. Yeeeeeah, I think. o_O; This fanfic came out in about two hours. I was listening to my Joydrop CD on the way home, and one song (well, a couple, actually) stuck out in particular. Thus... _this_ was born. It left me screaming "WHAT THE FLAMMING HELL~!" so maybe it'll have the same effect on you. XD;;; Please excuse any nasty grammatical errors: I finished this five minutes ago with only minor revisions and I'm being a lazy dork. I need to target some poor soul to be my beta-reader. ^^;;

2/2/01: BIG thanks to Curious Blue who noted an inconsistency in my terrible grammar (which should be fixed, now). It _wasn't_ intentional. ^^;

"The Line" is the 13th track from Joydrop's _Metasexual_ album. Good music. ^_^v

up into an endless state of time

with nothing good or bad just one

we have been strangers for a very long time

For a while, it seemed like it just might've worked out. The others were starting to open up, leave their hearts in the open, trust you a little more everyday...

But they'll never understand you like I do. I saw the sad looks you sent to the sky, the absent, reassuring strokes on Wormmon's head, and the brittle construction paper mask you had painfully pasted on to hide your fear. You stumbled far too much after a completed mission. You coughed and rubbed at your eyes often enough to ensure me that it was no sickness that ailed you. You stared at a knife a little too long, with too much hunger, in a grocery shop. I saw the invisible line between you and the others, and it practically glew neon. No matter how much dirt was kicked over it, it would always remain. And it was killing you, slowly, with glee, until the neon glow of that cheap, dingy line would overcome you and you would go insane.

we have watched and we have tried

I've talked to them, I've argued with them, I've even gone as far as to plead with them. They just won't understand, no matter how much conviction I force into my words. There's nothing to fear but the past, and we can only put our fear away by putting the past away before it.

I know you at least have an idea, because I've seen you watch me, confusion and a little bit of fear gracing your delicate features. You don't understand how important and precious you are.

I loathe the world that has caused you to overlook this simple, obvious fact.

and i need this

know this taste this want this...

I won't hide it from you much longer. The only reason I've tried to keep it quiet is because I'm afraid it will overwhelm you and force you to make a hasty decision that you'll soon regret.

I wondered for a while if my decision was made without proper thought, but everytime I see you with them, everytime I see you torn apart with this longing to hurt others or to be hurt by others... I'm only frightened because I don't care about how my future actions will hurt them. Even then, it's only a little fear, because every single moment, thought, longing, itch--it's all for your smile.

I'd give anything for your smile.

so swell the black sails with wind

and let me reap my rewards and start again

It's not hard to reproduce your old uniform. Nor is it hard to uncover the files from the ghost of your fortress. Of course I've improved them with the knowledge we've uncovered since you've joined us, and the knowledge I've uncovered by myself, all those quiet times when everyone was concerned with themselves. It's almost child's play to hack into the portals linking the world of our birth to the world of our future, sorting strand through strand until a knowing snip will cause everything to collapse.

Yes, their digimon will remain there, in the world of our future, our home. Only you and I will be digitized. The rest--the Chosen Children, your family, maybe even my family--will mourn, but they have each other.

I have only you and Chibimon, just as you'll have only me and Wormmon.

I hope you'll have me.

this is the line that will fall

now that there's nothing left

that can shut you down

One tiny snip, and that line will be gone. The sickly glow will die and instead we'll have the sun shining and a fresh breath of life.

I'll make a future that will turn the biting burn of your violent past into a dull cold, and you'll smile, because the warm shine of our future will make the past transparent. We'll forget everything save happiness.

I've been planning this for a long while, Ken, and I'm not as unassuming as I make myself out to be. My courage in myself and my understanding that my friends will someday understand turn my will into iron

But you kind of knew that already, didn't you?

it doesn't take much to break

You stare at me in horror when you enter my room, a distraught angel.

"Daisuke... what..." I guide you to my bed with perfect gentility and sit you down. You don't resist in the slightest--your gaze is locked on my uniform. Yes, it's the same cape, boots, and goggles of your past, only my cape is blood red and the lining is black.

"I won't let you hurt anymore," and I close the door with my back to you, because I need to prepare myself.

"What do you mean?" you breathe, and I wince at the terror in your voice. Seeing me like this with no explanation or warning, the damned glow must seem like a glare.

I spin around and drop to my knees before you, giving you the respect that such perfection deserves. "Ken," I begin softly, and your eyes become a little less white as my voice begins to seep through my appearance, "I know the pain you're feeling, and I don't want it to go on any longer." I speak with fierce determination--I haven't come this far to have you misunderstand me. "You hurt because nothing is right anymore. Nobody can accept who you truly are, they only see the boy genius or the Digimon Kaizer." You gulp, and I know the words are hitting home. "And because of that, you can't even begin to know who you are. The temptation to go back to being the Kaizer is great because at least then, you knew who you were--" A tear runs down your cheek and I touch it with my gloved hand. The fabric absorbs and dries the salty water just as I want to aborb and dissolve your pain. "You knew who you were," I begin again, "but you couldn't possibly do it now. You're too gentle, too kind, and you would never hurt anyone intentionally--not like before--if you could help it. But it hurts so much to be held back from discovering who you are..."

You're crying openly now, and I cup your face with both of my hands until the red gloves darken to black with tears. "I won't hold you back, and I'd do anything to see you smile."

"I-I--" you choke, eyes closed. You take a shuddering breath and open your sapphire eyes to gaze into my own. "Why?"

The simple question is the only one I couldn't account for, even after thinking about it night after night until my head throbbed at the tiniest thought of it. "Be-because..." I falter for the first time that night, "I... care about you."

"How?" you whisper. I don't understand. "How do you... you care about me? In what way?"

I open my mouth but nothing comes out, I rack my brain and come out with nothing, and your bright eyes hold no sensical explanation.

Then you kiss me. Your tear-stained lips barely brush against my too-dry mouth and then you pull back only inches, eyes closed again. "This might be... who I am. Is this how you care for me?"

I'm beyond words as I gaze at the angel leaning over me.

"I think so. Yes." I breathe before I can stop to think.

a life beyond the things you live for

"But..." tears begin to swim in your lashes, "what if this isn't who I am at all? What if you won't care about me? What if I won't... care about you?"

I smile warmly--at least I know the answer to this question. "Then you'll be your own self. With or without me you'll be happy."

You open your eyes again to stare at me in bewilderment.

"But... I wouldn't mind having you with me for a while."

You smile through your drying tears, and my heart does... something, that I can't quite define.

It seems like too much for children as young as we are to handle, but I don't remember being this happy.

into a place where you have all that it takes

We enter the Digital World nearing midnight, and the moon and stars sheet the forests and fields with cool light. Chibimon and Wormmon are waiting for us in an open meadow. They seem happy, and I hope that they will be once they learn what my role will soon be.

I open my dad's old laptop and take a deep breath. I can do this, because it's for you. But when I open the program you place a pale hand on top of mine, and you barely smile as you take the laptop from my hands and then the whip from my belt. You close the laptop, knot the whip into a tangled ball and hurl both objects deep into the forest. A satisfying crash resounds through the trees and into the meadow.

You turn your back to the forest and take my hand.

you will reap just what you sow


End file.
